St. Patrick’s Day can turn the most casual drinker its trademark green the morning after a night of nationally socialized binge drinking. And so far there are no Weekend Words of Wisdom on how to survive the onslaught of a hangover. Hangover “cures” exist all over the world from the whacky to the potentially feasible, but there is no science to support any real reprieve from the dreaded morning after. Understanding your own body and knowing how alcohol works and what can make your head pound and stomach squeam more the next day is the key.While avoiding alcohol entirely is the best advice, this is near impossible for a college student trying to make any kind of progress with a social life. Moderation is the next best thing but according to Dr. Sant P. Singh a professor at Chicago Medical School in Illinois, we often don’t choose to drink responsibly. Singh, a chief of endocrinology, diabetes and metabolism, cited in Scientific American Magazine that around 75 percent of drinkers chugging down enough alcohol to be considered intoxicated would wake up the next day with hangover symptoms.According to Singh, a hangover can be defined through multiple symptoms chief of which are headache, nausea and vomiting. If you wake up gasping for water to battle the Sahara desert that is your mouth, you are likely suffering from dehydration symptoms associated with a hangover. According to Dr. Rob Hicks, this is due to the fact that alcohol is a diuretic, meaning it forces the body to rid itself of water at a rapid pace, something any seasoned college aged drinker would recognize as the million bathroom trips made after initially “breaking the seal.” Hicks, a general practitioner qualified at St. Mary’s Hospital in London and writer for the bbc.co.uk website, blamed nausea and stomach acid problems on irritation of the stomach lining by alcohol.Understanding why my body hates me is all well and good, but the real question is how can I not feel like a victim of a steamroller accident the day after drinking? Singh suggests keeping an eye on what liquors you are drinking. The worst according to Singh, are dark liquors, wine, whiskey and tequila. These liquors contain a chemical called a “congener” which is believed to be crucial to hangover frequency and intensity. Some experiences with whiskey and tequila leads me to believe that the “congener” might be the most evil chemical in the world. To avoid a hangover place your bets on clear liquors like rum, vodka and gin, which are lower in congeners.A Google search for hangover cures, lends links to totally conflicting opinion on just what will end a hangover, and the jury is out on whether or not a hangover cure even exists. Throwing back some water bottles and noshing on some sugary treats can help banish the dehydration and hypoglycemia caused by binge drinking, according to Singh. He also suggests antacids for stomachs that have seen one too many Irish “car bombs.”However, caffeine and aspirin are not your friends after a night of drinking. If you are addicted to caffeine, avoiding it may cause your headache to worsen, but for most people the relief created by caffeine is temporary and will just further dehydrate the body making you feel even more like dirt in the long run. The small print on the aspirin bottle means it when it says not to take when consuming three or more alcoholic beverages a day.  Aspirin can be outright dangerous, causing stomach bleeding or toxic effects to the liver.Now when lying in your hangover deathbed, armed with science, at least it will all make sense.