Halloween is rearing its spooky head all over Point Park. Elevators covered in spiders and cobwebs, decorative gourds, even cockroaches litter the campus. 

But things could always be more frightening. Therefore, I present to you a list of scary things designed to send shivers down your spine, in honor of the creepiest day of the year.

•    Adulthood

•    Hawks circling above your head, shrieking your name

•    Having already given up on your dreams and chosen to pursue a practical career at the age of 19

•    The drone that is probably hovering outside your window, recording everything you’re saying 

•    The anti-Oxford comma movement

•    Facing crippling student debt in two to three years

•    Extended eye contact

•    Being forced to spend Halloween with one of your parents

•    Waving back at someone who was not waving at you

•    Realizing that you’re not the person your friends want you to be anymore, then becoming unsure if you ever were that person in the first place

•    Ants forming a Power Rangers-style MegaAnt that’s as tall as three people

•    Getting stuck in a broken-down elevator with seven musical theater majors

•    Telling a story and in the middle of the story realizing that it’s actually a terrible story and no one is interested, but being so far in that you can’t stop   now without it being a whole ordeal, so you just continue and watch yourself fail like it’s an out-of-body experience

•    Institutional racism in the justice system

•    Thinking you’re eating a Smartie but it turns out to just be a really little piece of chalk

•    Thinking you’re eating a really little piece of chalk but it turns out to just be a Smartie

•    #Gamergate 

•    White people who don’t see why they can’t wear blackface on Halloween

•    Liking things ironically

•    People who you agree with ideologically, but who are so obnoxious in espousing their beliefs that you can understand why people hate them

•    Opening your fanny pack only to discover it’s filled with bees

•    Guys who wear “Cool babe…now make me a sandwich” T-shirts

•    Aunts who are sincerely concerned about Onion articles and post them on Facebook

•    Snakes with legs. Oh wait those are actually just lizards. Never mind

•    Hearing people talk like the doge meme in real life

•    Waiting with dread for your metabolism to slow down, knowing that someday you will not be able to eat macaroni and cheese every day without facing serious consequences

•    Seeing someone you went to high school with

•    Three missed calls from your dad

•    Your hand dissolving into sand in front of your eyes

Happy Halloween, everyone!