What should I do if someone important in my life is mad at me? How do I fix my mistakes? Is it wrong to not feel bad for what I did but still want to fix things? 

It is always hard when someone you care about is upset with you, but it is not always as serious as we make it out to be. When someone important to you is hurt by something you did, it’s smart to sit down with them and have a conversation. Almost no actions are irreversible. In that conversation you need to show you care about the other person’s feelings and experiences.

However it really depends on the situation as to if you should or should not feel bad. Regardless of if you feel bad or not, you do still have to be respectful of the other person. Everyone’s feelings are valid and it is important to acknowledge them. 

The sad thing is we will never know what is going on in someone else’s head. So even if something is not important to us, it could be extremely important to someone else. If you truly care about a relationship you will do whatever you can to keep it healthy. That being said, you cannot compromise on certain things if you feel uncomfortable doing so. In any relationship it is important to make certain that both people are comfortable with each other. 

If someone in your life did something wrong, and they choose to blame you, you cannot let them make you feel bad when you are not in the wrong. However it is ok to admit you are not always right, though accepting that can be hard for some people. One of the best ways to make up for your mistake is to admit you were wrong. Instead of trying to figure something out to make someone less angry, accept that they may be angry for a while. Just work to show them that you have learned from your mistake and that you can prevent hurting them in the same manner. Although, hurting people is an unfortunate part of life that is unavoidable.

People often desire to fix their mistakes, but one thing we forget is that without mistakes we have nothing to learn from. If we do not learn from anything, then we become static characters in our own story. If your favorite character in a show, book or movie never learned a lesson, or never grew to be a different person, that would make them less interesting. Without mistakes we cannot grow to be better people. You may be a wonderful person but you can always be a better person for yourself and for the ones you care about. We are always growing and changing, and without mistakes we would not be able to move towards the person we want to be. 

Do you need some advice? Are people in your life too indecisive? 

Do you need a new point of view?

Just email me at zdplizg@pointpark.edu