How do I impress the people I like? Should I have to change parts of myself to make them like me?  Is it right for them to ask me to change so they will like me? Can I truly be in love with someone if they do not love me for who I am?

Phenomenal questions, although I’m sorry to hear them because it sounds like a rough situation. Impressing people is rather challenging. Your goal when trying to start a relationship should not be to impress them. Being yourself should be enough to get their attention and draw them in. However, if that’s not getting them to notice you, then all you can do is put yourself out there. Ask them out, the worst thing someone can say is no.

Never change a part of who you are. Changing for someone else can only lead to a negative outcome. Love is earned and no one can earn your love if they are making you bend over backwards to earn theirs. We fall in love with people that make us feel like we are seen and understood. People can not understand you if you do not understand yourself.

It is never right for someone to ask you to change yourself in order for them to love you. If someone asks this, then they do not truly love you. Yes, if someone were to ask you to stop doing something like chewing with your mouth open, then that is normal. However, if someone were to ask you to change your hair color for them, that would be unreasonable. Your appearance is yours alone to dictate.

You can never truly love someone if you do not love yourself. Everyone talks about self love and how your life will change through self-acceptance, but honestly no one talks about how hard it is to work towards it. You’re going to have to jump through a lot of hoops, and it will not happen as fast as you want it to. It will take time, and you may find yourself falling in love during that time, which is normal. Love will find you when you need it the most. If you get caught up in trying to find it, love could pass you by.

Love is something to work for, but like all worthwhile stories, you have to sit through the prologue. That way you can learn what love you are looking for and truly end up with your happily ever after.

Do you need some advice? Are people in your life too indecisive?

Do you need a new point of view?

Just email me at zdplizg@pointpark.edu