Is wanting attention a negative thing? Are there positive and negative forms of attention? How are our actions guided by our desire for attention? Is withholding attention a bad thing? 

Great questions – I love discussions about attention. These always seem to end in an agree-to-disagree situation, but I truly do not see both sides of the scale. There are both positive and negative forms of attention, but the act of trying to get attention is most often negative. It’s not the desire for attention, but the way people tend to go about obtaining it. 

It’s natural for humans to want attention since a core human need is social interaction. When people lack attention, they are more inclined to become desperate for interaction, and an easy way to get attention is to start conflict or stir up drama. This is visible in people who go around spreading rumors – they most likely do this because they feel as though they do not get enough attention. 

Positive and negative forms of attention are both common encounters; it’s likely you experience both daily. Any interaction can act as a form of attention, and throughout the day we experience both verbal and nonverbal interactions with people. However, we often forget how different our interpretations of people’s actions can be. Unfortunately, when we negate the notion that people’s nonverbal cues clue us in on their perceptions, we see a downfall in realizingnegative attention. 

How our actions are guided by our desire for attention is a lot more complex than you may think. The basics behind the theory is that seeking attention is a way for individuals to satisfy emotional needs. Attention seeking is also a high sign of distress and dissatisfaction with things going on in their life. We will travel down completely different paths in our lives if we let our thirst for attention control our actions. 

 Withholding attention can technically be a bad thing for the other person too, but there are some instances where withholding attention is better for your mental health. Instances like ghosting someone may be morally wrong, but the other person could have done something to make you feel unsafe. Remember, your safety is always the top priority. But other cases are more common, where you had a bad experience with someone and instead of doing the mature thing and talking out the problem to see if there is a simple fix, you ghost them and act like you never knew them in the first place. This can lead people to crave more attention and seek unhealthy ways to fill the attention they now lack.

Do you need some advice? Are people in your life too indecisive? 

Do you need a new point of view?

Just email me at zdplizg@pointpark.edu.