Dear Christmas, you might not know who I am, but when I was little, I was a huge fan of you. As I get older, I realize you give me more of a headache than finals and nicotine withdrawal combined.

To tell you the truth Christmas, you are getting out of hand. Not everyone celebrates you and having your decorations everywhere is making my head spin, especially the decorations that have suddenly appeared in the lobby of my building.

In my opinion, it’s kind of rude for you to think that everyone has the same religion as you do. There are two other holidays that share December with you. Please respect them or include them in your festivities. Is that too much to ask for?

Christmas, I love you for the most part, but you are stressful for people who don’t have the money for elaborate gifts. The obnoxious music being played in every store and coffee shop doesn’t help much, either, and I get sick of it half way through December. If I hear “All I Want For Christmas is You” one more time I might blow a fuse like your decorative lights do after a few weeks.

By the way, once your special parades or TV specials come on the rest of the American population and I are already sick of you. You also have this habit of taking over other holidays. It’s okay that you want to be a part of the December cheer, but don’t go overboard trying to sprinkle your “charm” all over everything.

Truthfully, I don’t want to see you until later on in December, and I definitely don’t want to hear you until after I have finished finals and can enjoy your tree shaped cookies in relative peace.

The point I’m trying to make here is that every year you make a bigger deal about yourself and it is getting out of control. You’re like that one obnoxious person at a party that thinks they are the center of attention, but it turns out that everyone just tolerates them.

Speaking of people, tell Santa to dial it down, too. I don’t need some old guy sneaking into my house at night. Children love him, but when you get older you realize how strange the concept really is. Also, children these days find out that he isn’t real much earlier than they used to.

Yes, I know I’m a Grinch but some people like a peaceful version of you instead of the
extroverted and loud version we all have to deal with now. Christmas, I’m sorry to say it, but you have reached peak narcissism. So could you please dial it down, not just for my sake, but also for the rest of the world and other people like me?

I hope to see you next year but at a proper time. Does December 16th sound like a good day for you? Should I pencil you in? Oh, and could you bring some cookies? I’m going to need about a dozen after finals.

Love,
A very stressed out college student