Instagram scrolling is the enemy in this situation. Hours pass as the blinking numbers on my clock illuminate my room, and then I become the enemy. It started off with some social media stalking and then turned into an entire FBI mission that massively hurt my somewhat nonexistent self-esteem. This all started because of one small incident that happened over the summer. The guy I was dating decided to follow his ex on social media and liked all of her photos. Trust me, I know this sounds childish, but that stuff hurt my heart at the moment. As I scroll further down her feed, I start to notice how easy it is to compare yourself to those on the internet.

This comparison game slowly spread to different outlets of media as I started to notice how successful everyone my age was becoming. I started to degrade my own personal accomplishments because I felt like what I was achieving wasn’t enough. There is so much pressure today on college students to earn their degree by a certain age, and to have things figured out in such a short time period. It feels like time is slowly becoming shorter with each passing semester, there seems to be this preconceived timeline that everyone is attempting to follow.

One thing I am slowly learning is that everyone is on their own timeline and trust me, you can not measure success. Don’t tear yourself down just because you let your scrolling finger get a little out of hand. You should be proud of yourself no matter how big or how small your accomplishments are. If you suffer from depression, and you made it out of bed today, you should be proud. If you had a panic attack, but still managed to give that presentation, you should be proud. Don’t compare your success to others, because every small thing you achieve is a personal accomplishment.

I used to scroll obsessively through social media on specific people that I deemed as beautiful and successful, and I would do it as a form of self-torture. Eventually, one day I realized just how bad this quality of mine was. I was put in a situation where I thought I could never be as good as someone’s ex, and let me tell you, those were some of the roughest months my self esteem had ever seen. I started to question parts of myself that I never had before, and I didn’t like who I was becoming. I started to become jealous of someone I didn’t even know and started to compare myself to some girl on the internet.

For a couple months I was a blanket burrito of despair and insecurity, until one day I decided to hit the mute button on certain accounts. I took a break from social media for awhile and really reflected on what had been happening inside my head. I created a list of personal goals and started to slowly accept parts of myself that I have disliked for years. Hating yourself is easy to do, but loving parts of yourself that you once saw as unlovable is strength.

Comparing yourself to others hinders your own personal growth as you begin to create an internal timeline. This invisible timeline is invisible for a reason as it simply doesn’t exist. Grow at your own pace and acknowledge your accomplishments no matter how big or small. Success can be sought after, and the more you think about those around you in terms of success, you will be spending less time achieving your own goal. Focus on your own personal growth and walk through life one step at a time, and take things at your own pace. Be happy for those around you who are attaining their dreams and create your own! Believe in yourself and work on your own confidence, because self love is empowering and can take you places you once thought as unimaginable.