Point Park, this week I come to you not as the Opinions Editor or SGA Beat Writer (though those are two positions I do currently occupy.) Today, I come to you as the Senior Mascot Correspondent from the Pioneer Sideline, and today I’m here to talk about Mascots. Specifically, I’m here to talk about everyone’s favorite: Gritty. I’m here to tell you why he’s soft.

Gritty as a mascot is loved because he’s funny. He makes lots of silly social media posts and one time he swung down into the Wells Fargo Center to Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball.” He’s gone streaking during an outdoor match against the Penguins, and he beat up Santa Claus once. Actually, several Santa Clauses, but you can’t tell me that one isn’t as fake as Monday Night Raw.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Gritty lacks what his name alludes to: Grit. Gritty is funny, playful, and until recently, nonviolent. He was the Jake Paul of mascots. He’s a clout chaser. He’s in it for the fame, for the laughs and for the airpods and hermit crabs, which he asked for in a tweet as presents for his first birthday.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been saying “until recently.” that’s because Gritty has finally done what needed to be done to earn his Philly mascot stripes: he beat up a kid. Allegedly, of course. If you haven’t seen what is the most prevalent mascot news of the year so far, Gritty is being investigated in a criminal lawsuit. He is accused of punching the 13-year-old child of a season ticket holder for the Flyers.

I’d like to say here that as Sarah Gibson, human being, Sister, Daughter, and Friend, I think that assaulting children is bad and that nobody should do it. I feel bad for the kid who got punched (allegedly.)

But, as the Mark-Madden-esque persona of Sarah Gibson, Senior Mascot Correspondent, I think that this is precisely what needed to happen to Gritty to make him a bona-fide Philadelphia Mascot.

The strength in Philly Mascots is their, no pun intended, grit. The Philly Phanatic is the most sued mascot in history. He shot a friendly pig mascot meant to advertise $1 hot dog day with a hot dog gun. That pig mascot got hit with several hot dogs at 98 miles an hour. The Phanatic used that same hot dog gun on a woman named Kathy McVay, who was sitting behind home plate. She ended up with a small hematoma in her eye and her face was covered in bruises after being rushed to the hospital following her encounter with the duct tape-wrapped meat projectile. The Phanatic also got into a physical altercation with LA Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda after taunting him with a dummy that was used to mock him. Needless to say, the Philly Phanatic has unmistakeable grit, the same devil-may-care spirit and edge that makes the archetype of the Philadelphia Mascot great.

Up until now, Gritty’s been using the training wheels of Twitter and Instagram. He’s been avoiding using real Philly flavor. But now that he’s shown that he can possess grit, real grit? I’m excited to see where this mascot goes.