Ever since my favorite cheap pizza place moved locations I’ve been on this mission to find a convenient food place near campus that is also relatively affordable. I define convenient locations around campus in multiple different ways. In this case, The Chicken Guy is close enough to campus so that I can hit the joint in 10 minutes and be back to class in time for a lecture.

The only reason I would ever bring myself to frequent this place is for the convenience. For each of the four times I have visited, The Chicken Guy left my mouth full of tasty flavors and my stomach uneasy.

Guy Fieri and his team have done an excellent job in creating a brand for this chain. I love being able to sit down at a table while a massive chicken, with sunglasses, peers over my shoulder. Walking in, one should have nothing but high expectations for a place such as this. After all, Guy Fieri himself is plastered on the wall holding a live chicken, it’s clearly a tourist-attractive location and a proud accomplishment for the founder to openly display himself like this.

It’s almost as if he’s working in the back of the restaurant, on standby in case some Karen would like to ask for the manager. For three out of four visits, I am led to believe that I had been fed slightly undercooked chicken. If Fieri was really in the back of the restaurant he would be disappointed in the quality of the food his customers receive at this Pittsburgh location.

The first time that I decided to give this location a shot I was delightfully surprised by the sweet spice the food was coated in. I thought that Guy Fieri and the restaurant’s co-creator Rober Earl had hit their mark. Whatever they dredge and toss the chicken and fries into is quite excellent. It’s something that melts as soon as it hits your tongue and originally I had enjoyed how the chicken almost fell apart in my hand. This texture certainly contributed to the entire experience in multiple ways.

The stomach ache becomes more prevalent in the back end of the meal. It’s not worth it people, after trying this chicken once, the glamor of the flavors, branding, and 22 sauces quickly disappear.

I don’t understand, the first three times I went there the chicken was the same. It fell apart in my hands and was probably under an incorrect internal temperature. The only reasoning I could find for the poor chicken integrity and stomach pain is that they undercook it.

They almost redeemed themselves when I visited last Wednesday too. The chicken was more tender like their restaurant location in Disney Springs. I was delightfully surprised that they took the time to keep the chicken in the fryer longer, but I think I enjoyed the texture more when it was cooked the other way.

It’s not impossible to make me happy. I only wish that the more-firm chicken was a signifier that the meal was more edible when It definitely was not.

I’ve raised so many questions. Is it the workers? Was it the Spicy Mayo? The Chipotle Ranch? What causes the stomach ache? Listen, If you want a flavor journey then by all means come to this place, just don’t expect to enjoy what happens afterwards.