Nicole Martin knows that being a 20-something in the Tinder age is a wild adventure.
Inspired by her own personal dating experiences and that of her friends, the final semester graduate student has written her first book, “Love, Sex, and Situationships.” Martin’s book will be available on Amazon for $6.99 under her pen name, Nicole Raye.
One of the first anecdotes in her book, entitled “The Talk,” is all about that point in a relationship where a couple has been dating for a while and needs to establish where things are headed. After each anecdote, Martin offers advice on what to do when you are caught in a similar situation.
“The whole story is just me asking this guy at the wrong time, at the wrong moment, where it’s going, but it’s a total disaster, and it just doesn’t work out,” Martin said.
Martin creates a new lexicon for her book within the title. Martin defines a situationship as, “any complicated, uncertain, confusing dating affiliation with a potential partner that has yet to be determined. This could include hookups, friends with benefits or booty calls.”
Martin has previously worked at College Magazine as a sex and dating writer, and eventually became the editor for that team for a couple years. She has also written for Playboy and freelances sex and dating writing. In her story, “That Girl,” Martin talks about how girls need to stick together when it comes to the dating world.
“Don’t hate other girls,” Martin said. “I’m talking about a girl walks into a bar in something sexy, don’t hate her because she looks good.”
The most precious advice Martin offers to her readers is, “don’t take yourself too seriously.” She continues, “you’re gonna make mistakes and you’re gonna do things that maybe you’re gonna regret later, but, you know, the whole point of the book is talking about: I’ve been there, my best friends have been there, girls have been there. It’s okay to be you.”
Currently studying journalism and mass communications, Martin attended Penn State University where she earned a bachelor’s degree in print journalism with a minor in sociology. She is the managing editor of STEM Jobs Magazine and a digital content editor for Military Spouse, G.I. Jobs and STEM with Victory Media. She is also an online professor for Penn State.
Martin’s undergrad mentor, Pam Monk is a senior lecturer at Penn State and a freelance writer. Most of Monk’s students took her Magazine course and waited to receive an assignment and work for a grade, but Martin knew exactly what she wanted to do and simply asked how to make it work. Monk helped Martin create and publish her first magazine, L7, her senior year of college.
“Basically, I just encouraged her as much as anything,” Monk said. “She’s really a self-starter.”
Martin carried that initiative into her graduate school work.
“Nicole was a bright student interested in literature and a blog writer. She interned at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette,” said Point Park professor Tatyana Dumova in an email interview. “Professional pursuits of literature require talent, dedication and a lot of work, and I wish Nicole all the best in following her dreams.”
In Martin’s press release, Dating and Lifetsyle Blogger Maggie Quigley writes that Martin’s book is “truly a manual for any woman trying to navigate the messy dating world that our Tinder-lovin’ generation has created for ourselves.”
“Nicole Martin is the sitcom best friend I always wished I had – that pretty brunette with a dirty Dear Diary anecdote for every occasion. Thank god she’s put her hard-earned wisdom to good use, and decided to share with the rest of us mortals,” Quigley said in the press release.
Martin’s biggest advice for aspiring writers and journalism students is to reach out to as many people as possible.
“Be as persistent and pushy as possible with your writing and just keep trying,” she said. “You’re going to be rejected over and over; I’m not going to lie to you. I have and everybody else has, but once you find that person who gives you a chance, it’s your break. Don’t let other people discourage you.”
