Pioneer Public – The Shuffler

Carley Bonk

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Pioneer Public – The Shuffler

Photo by Gracey Evans

Photo by Gracey Evans

Photo by Gracey Evans

Written By Matt Petras, Co-Features Editor

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The Lawrence Hall Shuffler is a spooky ghost that exists.

“I do exist, that’s true,” he said in a phone interview.

The polarizing figure is said to shuffle through halls, turn lights on and off and move objects around, according to a Facebook post from Haunted Pittsburgh. It’s also believed that The Shuffler is actually the ghost of Michael Musmanno, a Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice who served in the 1950s and 60s and lived in Lawrence Hall because of an agreement with the university.

On that subject, the supposed legal expert was tight lipped.

“I plead the fifth,” he said.

While it was hard to make out much of what The Shuffler said on the phone, because his voice was so spooky, the specter explained that throughout the month of October he has been attempting to terrorize folks across campus. He’s been having some difficulties, he said.

“It’s frustrating, really. I followed this kid around the other day. He skipped breakfast and showering to start an essay due two hours later. Then his boss at his internship called him unprofessional, and he cried. After that, he had to get ready for his 6-9 at the top floor of West Penn, and the elevators were broken,” he said. “I was going to make some tapping noises and go ‘Ooooohhhh I’m a spooooky ghoooooost!’ That wouldn’t have phased him at all!”

From The Shuffler’s perspective, students are already suffering so much that it’s hard to do anything all that effective.

“These kids are so stressed I could make blood spew from their notebooks and they would just open a new one. It appears that the true fright this Halloween is not The Shuffler,” he said, beginning to cry. “The true fright this Halloween is the existential dread of being a college student.”

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