Judging Java: Reflections

Written By Jake Dabkowski, Coffee Columnist

Like all things bound to the metaphysical laws of the balance of time, this semester must come to an end. And with it, at least for now, so will this coffee column. Now, I would like to continue to write this column next year, but that’s up to the proverbial powers that be. So, for now, I’d like to take a minute to reflect, reminisce and remember this crazy semester.

This semester has been a wild ride, through and throughout. Joe Biden was sworn in as the 46th president of the United States. Over 82 million Americans became fully vaccinated against COVID-19. Weezer put out a fully orchestrated album recorded entirely in analogue. The Globe published phenomenal works each week and battered off bad faith allegations of left-wing bias. (Let me be clear here, the only left-wing propaganda in The Globe is Sarah Gibson’s mascot column). A boat got stuck in the Suez Canal. Our university hired a new president who looks like he’s a chaperone at a middle school dance. James Charles was canceled. I drank a lot of coffee.

And that’s what I’m here to talk about: the best cups of coffee that I had this year. And also, some of the worst, because I’ve had some pretty terrible ones.

The best cups of coffee that I had this year were from Caffè D’Amore in Lawrenceville and Delanie’s Coffee in the South Side. Caffè D’Amore was a darker blend, but it was delicious. Delanie’s was on the lighter side, but what I loved about Delanie’s was the atmosphere of the shop. Of the shops downtown that you can walk to from campus, I’d say Nicholas Coffee in Market Square and Gasoline Street Coffee by the First Avenue T Station are both my go-tos.

The worst cup of coffee was hands down the Wood Street 7-11. I mean no disrespect to people who like 7-11 coffee, but it’s terrible. Other bad cups were the McDonald’s near Market Square and Point Perk. There are better places within the same price range! Do not drink McDonald’s coffee!

Some of the memorable cups of coffee were the ones that I made in the Globe Keurig. In October of last year, my Keurig broke. (Well, actually, it was my roommate Luke’s Keurig. I was going to bring the Keurig, but apparently, because my Keurig is teal, it didn’t match the aesthetic that my roommates were going for. The teal Keurig still works though, just saying.) Anyways, I began making coffee in the Globe office and then carrying it back up to my dorm room. It was an arduous process and something that I would not like to do again.

Hands down, the most memorable cup of coffee that I had this semester was in the middle of the night covering the election. (Shout out to Nardos, Amanda and Jordyn, who covered that into the late hours of the night). I made it in the Globe Keurig, and it overflowed and spilt on the floor. It was delicious. Or maybe I was just sleep-deprived and incredibly stressed out.

And now, it seems as though we’ve reached the end of this week’s column. I never really know how to end these because I say everything I want to say in the review. I wish that I could just end this with a “the end,” but that’s not how print coffee journalism works.

It’s like Nathan Fielder once said: “I’m very bad at ending sentences. A lot of times, I just want to say, ‘that’s the end of my sentence. I have nothing more to say.’’ But again, that would be a pretty lackluster ending to this column. So instead, I’ll leave some parting advice, once again in the form of a quote from Nathan Fielder: “I don’t really have goals. I just try to make sure I’m enjoying what I’m doing.”

The end.