I would like to begin this review by apologizing to the nice people who work in the Downtown Subway in Market Square. You guys were nice but the food and experience were not. 

When I got in line I noticed that they take orders in the most unorthodox way. They rang you up at the far end of the counter before making your sandwich. Once you paid, then they made the sandwich based off of the receipt rather than the customer telling them what to put on their sandwich. This setup was problematic because people’s sandwiches would be completed in an order that didn’t reflect the order at which they arrived at the restaurant. 

I ordered my usual safe chicken bacon ranch sandwich on italian herb and cheese bread. As they were recommended to me by our features editor Rachel, I also purchased their three new dessert footlongs: the churro for $2, the pretzel for $3 and the chocolate chip cookie for $5. 

Many of the items were pretty terrible – my sandwich, the pretzel and churro. The cookie was passable; it was moist, yummy and coated my throat in gluten. I wouldn’t recommend it, but for a cookie, it wasn’t bad. 

The woman behind the counter told her coworker that I was getting all three of the new footlongs. She then brought all three pre-made to the front. All that needed to be done was to warm each in the convection oven. 

After paying and receiving each dessert, the longer I waited to eat them the less and less they tasted like their fresh counterparts.

I felt it cruel to churros to call the Subway Cinnabon Footlong Churro a churro. To someone who has never had a real churro from a Mexican restaurant or anywhere before, this might have tasted good.Yet, it was not crunchy like it should be but very chewy, and the inside dough wanted to stick to my teeth.

When the worker was making my churro, she heated it, placed it in wax paper, sprinkled cinnamon and rolled it back and forth to cover it in the dust. It was certainly an interesting technique to watch.

Next, the Auntie Anne’s pretzel was even more terrible. Sure at first it was good. It was a very chewy piece of bread with salt that acted like a stress ball for your mouth. After it became cold, it pulled apart and tasted completely like cardboard. This did not compare to a real Auntie Anne’s pretzel.

Last but not least was my chicken bacon ranch sandwich with lettuce. Normally I’m fine eating this at Subway; I used to purchase this sandwich every weekend.

However, this one was so terrible that I didn’t finish eating it. The chicken was dry and so was the bread. Perhaps it was because of the lack of garlic sauce. Still, this location butchered it terribly. I ordered a footlong so I could eat the other half for lunch the next day, and after reheating the sandwich I was kindly reminded of how terrible it was. 

As for the place that I ate everything at, the Market Square location has a large seating area upstairs. For the time of day that I went, it was really secluded, and I would actually recommend this as a really cool study spot. That is if you decide you’re craving some really crappy cheap dessert food.

For the price of all three footlong desserts, I could have gone across the street to Alta Via and purchased their $7 tiramisu. I will not be coming to this Subway again.