Why is communication so complicated? What are the best ways to communicate my needs to ensure they are met? How do I communicate with people who are not very mature? How can I handle difficult conversations when others refuse to listen to me? What is the best way of handling a situation where someone oversteps my boundaries?
These are phenomenal questions. I personally know a lot of people who struggle with conflict, and anytime boundaries are broken, there tends to be a lot of conflict. I do want to say first I’m sorry someone broke your boundaries, and I hope you are doing OK.
When it comes to communication, being honest is the best thing you can do. Honesty is a big part of communication. Some people are believed to be bad at communication, but I like to believe that it is just due to a tendency to lie. Whether it is because they are lying to others or to themselves, it creates a large number of problems in communication.
When you are not clear about what you need from people, they will not be able to instinctively meet your needs. So when you are setting your boundaries, you will need to be clear about what you exactly need. One way of clarifying your boundaries is through a sit-down discussion, where you speak with the people you care about and express your needs. There is a strong difference between speaking with someone and speaking to someone. When you speak with someone, you are both talking and listening, creating a more open atmosphere. When you speak to someone, it can come off as aggressive or assertive, creating a more tense atmosphere. Another way of expressing your boundaries is by doing so periodically. When things come up, you can express whether you are comfortable or not. Unfortunately, there is no way to go about it without talking.
Maturity does play a major role in respecting other people’s boundaries. When it comes to communication with people who are less mature, it’s best to keep the interactions more lighthearted instead of expecting them to match your maturity. It’s always best not to expect something from people who may not be able to achieve it. People who do not listen to you tend not to value your input or respect your needs. As much as I believe you should give people multiple chances, I do not believe that disrespectful people deserve to be in your life.
I was recently in this situation myself with a person I care deeply about, and we both overstepped each other’s boundaries. The best thing you can do is the same thing we did: talk it out. Talking situations out is the best way to move forward, though just because you talk things out does not mean that things will work out the way you want. My friend and I decided that the best thing for us was to no longer continue our friendship for now. We both needed to do what was best for us, and through communicating, we determined that while we still wish the best for each other, we know we need some space to find ourselves.
Do you need some advice? Are people in your life too indecisive?
Do you need a new point of view?
Just email me at [email protected]
