How do I get over my social anxiety? How can I talk to people? How do I make close friends? Should I do things for other people that I am not comfortable with? How can I tell if people are taking advantage of me? When is it OK to help other people? When do I know to take a step back from people to focus on myself?

Great questions. Talking about friends and anxiety is always an interesting topic to cover. There are so many complexities to people that it can be hard to truly build a good connection with them.

Getting over social anxiety is not really possible; it’s more appropriate to say managing your social anxiety. Social anxiety is something that is always going to be a part of you, but like most things, you can have a decent level of control over it. The best way I find to manage social anxiety is through reaching out for help and speaking to a therapist. But sometimes people do not have access to those resources. If you do not have access to those resources then I recommend starting off small by pushing yourself into a few social interactions per day.

The best way to talk to people is to just be straight forward; playing games is not something I would support. Just walk up to someone and start a conversation. Great conversation starters can be simple compliments and questions.

There are so many ways of making close friends. I really do not have much advice on the topic. You cannot force a relationship; you have to let them naturally develop. All you can do is be yourself and give people a chance.

It’s important to put yourself out there and attempt to be social, but you can not allow other people to define your social interactions. If someone is pushing you to do something that is outside your comfort zone, you need to think about why they are doing it. Sometimes people push you outside of your comfort zone in hopes that you can gain a positive experience, but sometimes people push you for their own personal gain.

When you start to recognize a person is gaining things from your relationship, you should take a step back and evaluate the relationship. Examine if the person is gaining more than they are putting into the relationship. If you see that the person is gaining more and that they only have interest when they are gaining something, then you should put space between you and the relationship.

Helping people is very noble, but if you are not in a good place yourself, then you can not help people. It is dangerous to push yourself too hard. You will know when you need help. Your body will start showing signs, and it is best to pay attention to them. If you do not put yourself first, no one will.

Making sure you have mutually beneficial relationships is very important. Once you see someone is taking advantage of what they are gaining from you, you will know it is time to break away from that relationship. The best way to walk away is to communicate with the person that the relationship is no longer something you are looking for.

Do you need some advice? Are people in your life too indecisive? Do you need a new point of view? Just email me at [email protected].